


Shattered Skulls, Broken Hearts

by summoner_yuna_of_besaid



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-22 22:52:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summoner_yuna_of_besaid/pseuds/summoner_yuna_of_besaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Incomplete.</p><p>Miranda Lawson does not like not knowing things, or being in the dark.  Whereas Kasumi Goto is a whirlwind of secrets and mysteries.  Miranda is never quite sure where she stands with the woman.</p><p>Every instinct Miranda has tells her not to give in to the thief's charms, but the longer Kasumi persists the hard it is to resist... until old wounds resurface and the past gets in the way of the future.</p><p>(An introspective into Miranda and Kasumi's backgrounds set during ME2, developing their characters and their relationship into an eventual romance. )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Miranda

Miranda Lawson did not like not knowing things.

Ignorance was bliss, the saying went, but she scoffed at the idea. Ignorance was a death wish. A lack of knowledge would undoubtedly lead to a lack of preparation and forethought which would lead to a gross, messy end.

Knowing things was how she had gotten as far as she had; how she’d gotten out of her father’s clutches and kept her sister from the same. How she’d made it so far in Cerberus, and how she’d survived this long.

Which was why she did not currently feel comfortable around one Kasumi Goto.

Said thief was sitting across from Miranda on the other side of the desk, lax and smooth as if she belonged there, legs crossed at the ankles and stretched out. Miranda could see the light grin beneath the hood and the barely-there sparkle of two bright eyes smiling at her. 

There were many things about Kasumi Goto that were difficult to know. When it came to subterfuge and secrets, the thief was almost as good as Miranda at hiding a trail, disguising her intent… that alone was enough to make Miranda on edge around the woman, to keep her guard up. But that wasn’t all.

"And what brings you here, Ms. Goto?" She knew the answer already of course - asking was part of the show. A smirk and a beguiled gaze went further than direct confrontation with the men and women who courted her, she'd found. And Ms. Goto was certainly courting her. She knew that part. What she didn't know was why.

First there had been the flowers which appeared on her desk on Valentine's day, an ancient and repugnant holiday Miranda had never observed nor wished to. Then there had been the anonymous gift on her birthday of a weapon upgrade she'd been considering buying herself. The knowledge of human history, the technological competence to hack her personal computer, and the ability to travel in and out of her office undetected led Miranda to one conclusion: Kasumi.

The thief had confirmed her suspicions only a week ago, in the middle of combat, no less.

As per usual when fighting with Shepard, her companions had been left in the dust to shoot at outliers while their Commander ran headfirst into the muck. Charging her way through hordes of mercenaries or husks, usually with Grunt or Zaeed right on her tail. Miranda had no taste for close quarters combat when there were more sensible options. Kasumi, it seemed, was of the same mind.

The two were perched on an outcropping nearby, both with long ranged weapons. They shot in tense quiet, trained on the enemy; Miranda's dark eyes narrowing at the sight of the opposing forces their commander was tearing into.

Briefly, she'd glanced to her partner. Kasumi was wielding a sniper rifle, a very nice one, so pristine it was hard to imagine it had ever been used before. Miranda had no rifles to her name. Whilst distance was itself often a tactical advantage, it was rare she was given the opportunity to put such space between herself and her prey. With Shepard in charge, it seemed she was constantly chasing her Commander's shadow in an effort to keep her in one piece. 

Three years of my life dedicated to bringing her back to life, she'd thought. I won't let her damnable recklessness throw it all away.

It was in the midst of these thoughts, and glancing towards the admirable weapon she'd never had for her own, that Kasumi had glanced towards her. Beneath the hood Miranda could see an eyebrow raised. "Like what you see?"

Fact of the matter was, she did, and not just the rifle. Even the straightest woman on the Normandy could tell Kasumi Goto was fine indeed, and Miranda was hardly the straightest woman. Outside her good looks and well-built frame, the thief had a smooth, clandestine aura about her which she kept almost naturally. Her wit and charm atop that only made her more compelling.

Miranda realized she'd been silent too long when Kasumi's look became a cocky smirk. "It’s a fine weapon."

"Indeed it is." Kasumi shot back, mocking the intellectual tone Miranda used. "As is yours. Though at the moment it seems to be missing most of its marks."

Color and heat flooded Miranda's face to her ears as she realized she'd allowed Kasumi to distract her from the mission. In response, she took down five husks one after the other, including two within Kasumi's line of sight which the sniper surely would've taken, given half a chance. The battle was won and Shepard was gesturing at them from the valley, waving them on.

Immediately Miranda stood and prepared to move on, focused on the job once again, when a hand caught hold of her elbow.

"Nothing wrong with appreciating a good view," The thief whispered into her ear, lips brushing the skin. "If you ever want to do more than that, you know where to find me."

Dropping the implications and future promises like bombs in Miranda's ears, Kasumi let her go and walked away, whistling as she did. Miranda pulled herself together. She did not blush; she did not stare after the other woman with barely veiled shock. And she certainly did not consider the offer.

And given she did not consider it, and never came to the woman it seemed the thief had decided to come to her.

In response to her question the thief gave a beguiling smile of her own, a playful shrug, and glanced away towards the wall. "Oh, nothing in particular really, I just thought we might want to talk."

Miranda blinked. "Talk?" That was unlikely; who would come to Miranda Lawson for a chat when there were so many other more outgoing officers on the ship? Even Joker, for all his acerbic retorts, was constantly eager for a listening ear.

"We've never really had the chance." Kasumi sat forward, elbows on her knees, fingers interlaced. "It seems I've spoken to everyone on the ship, from the cranky pilot to the mysterious assassin, even the ship herself. But I've yet to really speak to you." Her eyes were piercing beneath that hood and if Miranda were any less a calculating and distant woman, she might've fidgeted beneath the gaze. "You never show up for lunch or dinner, you aren't seen around the ship." Kasumi gave a little grin. "I thought I was the only one who could be invisible around here."

Sighing, Miranda fought the urge to rub at her forehead. "I do eat. I'm hardly synthetic."

"Shepard is partly synthetic, and even she eats!"

"Yes, I know that, thank you." Growing more frustrated, Miranda returned to one of her old calming techniques from her days dealing with her father: counting down from twenty to one, and with each number, imagining a colorful way to deal with the problem at hand.

With her father, she would usually imagine suitable fates for him: beheading; tossed off a building; poisoned, quartered, and drowned. 

With Kasumi it seemed the idea was less useful. Twenty, Miranda thought in her head as Kasumi continued chattering about Miranda's antisocial behavior. Images of the woman leaning over her desk, grabbing her shirt and kissing her filled her head.

No! Clenching her fist, Miranda worked harder to focus. Clearly she was losing control if such a small situation was prompting such a reaction. Nothing ever got to her like this.

"And I thought, perhaps you just don't get invited to anything." Kasumi finished with a shrug. "So here I am, inviting you. Had lunch yet?"

Nineteen, Miranda fought a grimace, and visions of Kasumi lounging on Miranda's long couch filled her mind. 

"I'm afraid not." She spoke tersely, attempting politeness while biting the inside of her cheek. "I'm much too busy."

"Well, you have to eat eventually. You aren't planning on working through lunch, are you?" The tone was teasing, but close to the mark. When was the last time she'd eaten lunch?

"That's none of your concern." Politeness failing, Miranda let her tone turn dark. "Now, please, if you don't mind -"

Kasumi held her hands up. "Of course. I don't want to be in your way." She was still smiling as she stood and backed towards the door. "But if you change your mind..."

Eighteen, she continued. The Kasumi in her head was now only wearing undergarments.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Goto."

The sound of the door shutting behind the woman prompted a sigh of relief from Miranda, who ran a sweaty hand over her forehead. There was much work left to be done, but now she was distracted and a bit hungry and more than that, terribly turned on.

Seventeen, she tried once more, and while she evaded thinking of the woman naked she did imagine herself and Kasumi at lunch, as if it were an ordinary, daily occurrence they both might enjoy.

It was decided, Miranda thought glumly. Something had to be done about this.

\-----------------------------

The fact of the matter was Miranda Lawson did not date. This rule had undergone myriad changes over the years until Miranda had settled upon abstinence in all its forms - emotional, physical - because in the end relationships were like life: they ended badly for everyone.

Jacob was the last person Miranda had attempted a relationship with, and that had only been further proof that one: she could not keep a healthy relationship; and two, having a relationship with someone at work was asking for it. She was grateful Jacob was such a good man he didn't hold it over her or make anything of it, and a part of her still dearly missed him. It was a part she rarely acknowledged.

But it was certainly for the best for all involved. Emotional entanglements were weaknesses; like pointing to vulnerable spots and asking the enemy to fire. In Miranda's experience, a quick fuck and a nice evening out were the cheap repayments for the awkwardness, the fear, and even the pain and blood which came after.

For a while, she'd simply attempted to keep her love life, if it could be called that, away from work and Cerberus. But the deeper she became entrenched in work and espionage, the less of a life she had. As it was, she didn't she had an open, "real" identity anymore.

So co-workers became her only option; and those experiences blew up in her face more than any of her past experiences combined. Which meant, with no personal life and coworkers off limits, her dating pool was the size of a fish bowl.

She certainly couldn't date or even have sex with anyone on the Normandy. They were stuck on that ship together for the foreseeable future, and many of them were going into combat with her. Those relationships were too important to screw up with hormones. No, chastity was better than anyone dying, even if in the moment Kasumi's offer was much too tempting.

Going for something less intimate like friendship was a no-go either. Emotional attachments were burdens. First they wanted to eat lunch once in a while, then they'd come calling to her office to visit, leaving phone messages, calling her out in the halls, demanding more and more of her time. She only had so much time to give, and Cerberus sucked all of it from her. Any friend of hers would be disappointed indeed, not even to mention the kind of horrid friend she'd make.

No need to get Kasumi's hopes up then. But the thief still had to be dealt with; she was a titillating distraction, and an insistent one. Miranda had to find a way to end her interest, for good. Hopefully without hurting her too badly.

Even as she thought it, Miranda frowned and shook the thought away. Emotions were inconsequential. Kasumi had to know nothing would happen, because if anything did they'd both be putting huge targets on their backs. Next to their lives, what did their hearts matter? 

\------

So Miranda enacted her master plan to turn Kasumi's interest aside: she avoided her.

It should have been relatively easy. Miranda spent most of her time divided between the office and meetings with Shepard, taking quick meals from the cafeteria back to her rooms. It was rare she was ever out and about on the ship to bump into anyone. And yet, she consistently ran into the thief almost every day!

The first time seemed to be an accident. Shepard had called Miranda up to her rooms, and the officer had promptly acknowledged and headed towards the elevator. Miranda then stood waiting before the doors, and as they opened, Kasumi Goto had become visible leaning against the back wall.

The officer had frozen, back stiffening, as the hooded face looked up and grinned.

"Oh, hello!" The thief started. "Fancy seeing you here."

Miranda had considered turning on her heel and walking away, pretending to have heard someone calling, or even faking a medical emergency. But when she realized none of those responses were convincing nor promising, she gave a light sigh and stepped into the elevator.

Only for it to stop working halfway to Shepard's room.

"How about that?" Kasumi's voice had been suspiciously cheerful for the event. "Looks like we're stuck."

"Looks like," Miranda seethed from her side of the elevator. It was dreadfully dark and the darkness was only feeding her imagination as to what Kasumi could be doing.

"Looks like we might be here for a while." Kasumi chirped, happy as a bird.

"Looks like," The second in command grunted.

Twenty, she started in her head, and this time she tried imagining strangling Cerberus engineers. It worked much better.

\-------------

The second time seemed like a coincidence.

The two had been on a relatively unimportant mission; something of a detour in the grand scheme of things. The Illusive Man had decided to have Shepard play baby sitter to some Cerberus officers on a far outpost who hadn't checked in for a while. The Commander had cussed and shouted at the man in reply, but in the end acquiesced at the promise of more supplies and upgrades. Still, she'd been muttering about it as she left, and Miranda could hardly blame her.

It was cut and dry and plain dull, as they'd thought; technical issues caused by a sudden surge in bad weather. Shepard and her people hadn't really needed to be deployed, but since they were, the woman took charge of overseeing repairs despite Miranda's insistence she be allowed to do so.

"Stop worrying so hard," The woman had smirked, the red scars on her dark skinned cheeks distorting as she did. "I'm not so dumb I can't handle overseeing a few geniuses put a computer system back together. Go take a bubble bath or something."

Infuriated to be so useless, and unable to return to the ship until Shepard was done, Miranda stormed outside. She didn't go far; the sandstorm was still raging. Still, she walked a little ways from the base so she wouldn't overhear them working and be tempted to turn around and overthrow her commander. 

There was a small cave nearby she could take shelter in, and be far enough away to not hear a thing. Miranda took to it quickly, settling down against the rough wall and sighing out at the bitter air.

Not two minutes later, the other team member Shepard had brought sauntered into the cave and Miranda had to fight off a scowl.

"And what are you doing skulking out here?" Kasumi grinned, a hand grasping the top of the cave as she leaned partway in. "I would have thought you'd be arms deep in management right now."

The reminder put fire in Miranda's belly. "It seems the Commander believes I am not up to the task." How had this happened? Had she been showing some fatigue? Slowing down missions? Perhaps she should schedule another thirty minutes of sleep to try and compensate. If Shepard should condemn her as an XO, demote her or even go to the Illusive Man...

"Hey," Kasumi's face was suddenly concerned; she knelt and moved into the cave, across from Miranda. "No need to scrunch that pretty face up in worry. I'm sure she just wanted to be nice."

Miranda couldn't fight the scoff. "Of course. It's always acts of kindness and good will towards men with you people."

"You people?" The tone was harsh but Kasumi was grinning, about to bubble over with laughter. "And who are, 'you people', if I might ask?"

“Optimists, the ones who believe in unsolicited acts of kindness and fairy tales and get themselves killed before they're thirty." Miranda had known plenty of those naive smiling types in her years at Cerberus. Most of them - excepting Jacob - were dead.

"I'm hardly an optimist, Miranda." Heat flooded Miranda's face and a light tremor shook her hand. That voice saying her name in such a teasing tone would be the subject of her dreams for weeks to come. "I just know people. And I know Shepard, she's gentle and soft-hearted if you’re on her good side."

"There is the flaw in your logic." Miranda retorted. "I'm hardly on her good side. I work for the Illusive Man; Shepard and I have a common purpose and nothing more."

"Of course." Kasumi's grin became a stretched, tired smile. "Anything more... you couldn't allow that."

Shock took her, and she looked up to reply when suddenly - BOOM. The cave went dark. Miranda' shock morphed into fury and she clenched her hands so tight it hurt.

"Well, look at that!" Kasumi laughed. "Looks like we're stuck!"

Miranda fought the urge to scream.

\------------

The third time was a pattern.

The cave could've been natural; the elevator could've been a mistake; being caught in the same corner of a hide-out in the middle of a stale mate was too much. If she were one to believe in destiny or fate, she might've thought it was the Gods trying to get her laid. As it was, she knew the universe wasn't that kind.

"You are rigging this," The woman seethed from her hiding spot, spitting her quiet vehemence across the way to Kasumi.

"You surely can't think I set it up so that we'd be caught in the same corner!" She smiled innocently and shrugged.

They certainly were caught. They'd been following Shepard through one of the darker parts of Omega when a Blue Sun Krogan came out of nowhere and rammed Shepard hard. The Commander and her enemy went down over a railing, fell two stories, and were lost to Miranda and Kasumi. Wherever their leader was, she was on her own.

The two left behind, on the other hand, were in deep shit. The Krogan had apparently been the front runner of a huge Blue Sun group, too many for them to take on alone. Miranda had realized at once they needed to hide, and quickly, and just as she'd realized it Kasumi had grabbed her arm and hauled her across the room behind a few crates.

"You hauled me over here!" Miranda insisted.

"To save your life!"

True, she had to give the woman that. The Blue Suns had apparently gotten serious, having sent dozens of their men after Shepard, including more than a few Krogans. Currently they were keeping watching, looking over the broken railing and keeping an eye out. Likely, they assumed Shepard (if she wasn't dead) would eventually return and they'd take her down then. Miranda was attempting to come up with some way to stop them before her Commander walked straight into a trap.

I spent too long putting you back together Shepard! She thought frustratingly, with no small amount of fear. As a duo, they were ill-equipped for the situation; forced into close quarters combat in a small area against so many? In fact, as Miranda thought of it, pairing herself with the thief was not an intelligent move to begin with. Too much stealth and agility, not enough brawn. Shepard usually played that role, and where was she? 

As she thought about it, Miranda realized that Shepard had been taking both Kasumi and her much more often recently... frowning, she turned her glare on Kasumi.

"You have the Commander in on this don't you?" But as she spoke, Miranda's eyes widened; the thief wasn't there.

Miranda’s breath caught in her throat; and next she heard the shnk of an omni-blade piercing flesh and the death throes of an unfortunate victim. Miranda leapt to her feet immediately, firing off shots at them, hoping to confuse and draw the attention of the mercenaries circling Kasumi.

The thief had gone undetected long enough to take down a few of them, but she was visible now, and quickly being surrounded. Miranda leaping out of cover distracted them enough to give Kasumi a chance to retaliate; the first idiot to turn their head and look Miranda’s way got a weapon discharged into their face.

From there, the two women went into the fight with fists flying and guns blazing, like gunfighters in a bar fight in an old Western. It was almost thrilling, but bubbling up beneath the excitement was a nervousness Miranda couldn’t name. She kept cool control over herself, keeping an eye on the myriad enemies surrounding her, taking one down even as two came upon her. Kasumi was faring well, but Miranda feared every moment the tables would turn.

Two Salarians attempted to take her front; she ducked and rolled, cut their legs out from under them, and shot them as they fell, before rolling back onto her feet and spinning round. She took out three who’d been coming at her back, then reloaded her clip.

It was as she was reloading that she saw, in the corner of her eye, a Krogan charging her. Panic set her blood on fire. Rushing to stand, Miranda set about replacing the clip as quickly as she could but it wouldn’t be fast enough. She was on her feet and lifting her gun just as the Krogan came into spitting distance, and fear froze her heart as she realized this was it, this was the messy end she’d always foreseen –

Force hit her, but not from the direction she’d been preparing for. Something hit her in the side and down she fell, sliding away from the krogan’s path and to the floor. Her eyes darted up; the Krogan slammed into something and slid to a halt, and then Kasumi’s cloak vanished and her crumpled body hit the ground with a dreadful thud.

White noise filled Miranda’s ears. Her sight turned red and pure fury had her heart pumping. But behind the rage and the anger was a fear dark and deep and spreading like vines, twisting through her rib cage to her heart.

….

It didn’t look good. The odds were against them, they were outnumbered two to one, and Jacob’s insides were outside and blistering and blood was all over his face but he was goddamn smiling

And all she could hear was white noise as the world around them exploded and guns fired and her trembling hands pressed against his wounds to hold him together and he just smiled

And said she was worth it

….

Miranda screamed.

The Krogan had no idea what hit him when the woman took hold of a sharp piece of shrapnel near her, leapt on his back, and took advantage in a weakness in his armor to snap his helmet off and stab him with the piece of metal. Using his own build against him, she took hold of the top of his head, pulled herself up, and then stabbed at the vulnerable front near the eyes. Again and again the makeshift weapon came down as the Krogan cried out, until it wasn’t crying anymore.

Whatever happened next, Miranda wasn’t sure. People died, shots were fired, and at some point Shepard returned, alive though worse for the wear. All Miranda could remember was shuddering and fighting to breath as she looked over at Kasumi’s fallen form, and thought,

Not again.


	2. Kasumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kasumi's side of the story.

Kasumi Goto, contrary to popular belief, did not enjoy secrets.

Being secretive was just part of the job. She could hardly parade her success around publicly, or let anyone in on her plans or heists. It wasn't good for business. And while at times it could be fun to sneak around, fabricate a few lies, create some good forgeries, and otherwise indulge in the best parts of being a thief, it could get exhausting.

A thief, a successful one that stayed alive and out of jail, had no friends. Friends meant letting someone in, sharing. It was too risky to do that with just anyone. Not that she didn’t have any friends or loved ones - Keiji was a prime example - but either they weren't around long or didn't last long. Again, like Keiji.

So while secrets were her business, they weren't as enjoyable as most everyone thought she found them. The fun part about secrets was telling them! That's what gossip was created for. The look on people's faces when they were brought in the know, the way stories unraveled when all the pieces were put together. It was like a good book in real time, and Kasumi loved it.

She rarely got the chance to enjoy such things, but the Normandy offered the perfect environment. Close quarters with dozens of interesting people all with their own stories and things to hide, and here she was dropped in the middle of them. What fun! 

Of course, she wasn't rude. She never delved too far into personal lives or spaces, just skimmed the surface. With her cloak, she'd dash around the cafeteria, hide behind corners, or crawl around in the ship's underbelly. Sometimes she'd even stand invisible in the elevator and listen to the small talk. It could often be ambiguous and inane, but she enjoyed the thrill of overhearing a conversation not meant for her, putting things together to try and paint a fuller picture. After hours spent sitting around the ship, it was hard to just sit around, even to read her favorite book. She had to get her entertainment somehow!

So the first few weeks of her stay on the ship went, with the thief sneaking around common areas overhearing snatches of conversation, putting together a plot in her mind with the ship's officers as characters. This character was about to be a parent for the first time, this character was trying to win the affections of another, this one was unsure of their decision to join Cerberus. It was all so interesting, and so real! After a while Kasumi felt she might know most of the ship and her crew better than the people who'd been on it from the beginning.

Then one day, bored of the areas she'd usually patrol, Kasumi decided to be a little adventurous. Not too adventurous, mind; nothing invasive. Maybe just a quick peak into the chilly, intimidating XO's office, a bit of fun?

Once the idea was in her head, Kasumi couldn't put it down. For a few days she studied the woman's movements, her daily schedule, until she could follow Miranda Lawson and sneak into her office behind her. It worked perfectly on her first try, of course. 

The office wasn't really anything unique to be honest. Rather disappointing. Kasumi had hoped to see some personal things, some revealing photos or trinkets, something that might shed a little light on the distant woman. There was practically nothing. The office could've belonged to just about anybody, for all the life it had.

Kasumi withheld a sigh to keep her presence a secret, and turned to lean against the wall and wait for Miranda to leave again. The woman herself didn't do anything of interest either; head down, hand running quickly across the screen, busy busy busy. She hardly looked up or took a break for two hours.

The whole thing had been a waste of time. Bored, Kasumi had just about been ready to risk moving towards the door and escaping, when something caught her eye.

A tear. A single tear shed from Miranda Lawson's left eye.

Shocked, Kasumi stared in awe at the sight. It was just one tear. There was no other visible sign Miranda was upset; she had the same, determined look on her face, eyes narrowed, focused on her work. One of her hands lifted to her face and wiped the tear away viciously, and she returned to her business. Nothing else happened.

But Kasumi couldn't forget that one tear.

She wondered what it meant for hours, sitting in her room again, having given up on the game after Miranda's show of emotion. Like she had for so many others, the thief found herself creating a story for Miranda: filling in the pieces, drafting a tale that might fit the picture.

Over time, she added to the details in her mind. She took to watching Miranda more closely than she had before (though she still watched everyone closely), took in her mannerisms, her speech, the walls she held between herself and everyone else. The picture she created was a fascinating one, and Kasumi found herself more curious every passing day.

She did wonder, some days, if Miranda was lonely. She didn't want to assume the woman was just because she didn't have any friends or lovers on the ship, but it seemed like everyone had at least one person they could talk to on board. If no one else would speak to them, at least Shepard would. There was a woman who could chatter even more than Kasumi could.

But it seemed, in moments when she thought no one was watching, Miranda would appear very lonely. She'd sigh, drift out of her work, rub a hand over her forehead and appear to be in despair. These moments would only ever last seconds, but over the weeks Kasumi watched her, they happened again and again.

Perhaps she was lonely, Kasumi thought. The thief knew the feeling. She had people to talk to, even a few she thought might be friends, but... there was a loneliness in loss that never quite went away. Sometimes, Kasumi thought Miranda might know that personally, by the look in her eyes.

The flowers had been on a whim. Kasumi had been reading and Valentine’s Day had been brought up in the story. Human societies that had once celebrated the holiday had long since passed observing it, but it was still an obscure human custom about love. Surely Miranda, as intelligent and well-read as she was, would realize the connection?

So she'd left the flowers. She'd had to sneak out onto the Citadel to get them, and secretly keep them in Mordin's freezer he used for specimens, but Kasumi didn't think he ever saw the flowers. If he did, he never mentioned it. 

The birthday gift was actually planned. After realizing she was sort've, maybe attempting to earn Miranda's admiration, Kasumi had hacked into Cerberus's files and pulled up Miranda's. Having done that and learned the date, she set about getting into the XO's, which turned out to be much harder. Still, she thought it worked out well, because Miranda seemed pleased when she found the upgrade in a neatly wrapped box on her desk.

But after a while the thief had to admit to herself she needed to show her face. The idea was somewhat horrifying. Kasumi was used to shadows and distant between herself and others - allowing her perspective, the opportunity to see and exploit weaknesses. She was never on the same level with others. Walking up to Miranda and talking to her would eliminate that, and make her very vulnerable.

There was nothing for it; either she’d remain a creepy stalker for the rest of her life, or grow up and face the woman head on. Stomach quaking with nerves, Kasumi agreed to take the first chance she got to speak to Miranda.

It... didn't quite go to plan. A week or so later the two were assigned to the same mission. In the midst of battle, hidden behind a rocky outcropping shooting Husk heads off together, Kasumi could've sworn she'd seen Miranda checking her out in the corner of her eye. Heart thumping, the woman turned her head and realized, yes! She was being checked out! Excited rushed through her veins and giddiness flooded her brain, and before she knew it, she was opening her mouth.

"Like what you see?"

She had not, in fact, meant to first address Miranda with a come-on. She'd actually meant to honestly approach her about her intentions and explain that she'd snuck into her office (which she was sure Miranda already knew about, the woman was smart.)

But with her mouth and her libido working against her, she ended up hitting on the woman right there amid the rotting corpses and gunfire, as if that was fucking romantic. Kasumi was still wincing about it on the way home, and it took a while for her to gather her nerves and face Miranda in person.

That didn't go well either. Mostly, she annoyed the other woman. Big surprise. Kasumi had found through many years in life that others tended to be annoyed with her when she spoke. The reasons were legion. She spoke too much, she didn't speak about the right things, she dared to be an intelligent woman with something to say... or she just always opened her mouth at the wrong times. As a child it got her in constant trouble; as an adult, it sometimes helped her get out of it.

Retreating with as much grace as she could, Kasumi left Miranda's office feeling downtrodden and rather gloomy.

That was when a familiar arm was swung around her shoulders.

"Hey, Wormy," Shepard said with a grin, walking along beside Kasumi. "What's got you down? If you were me, I'd think Miranda just gave you a good dressing down about taking risks in missions, but you're not me, so it's something else." Stopping, the Commander stood in front of Kasumi and crossed her arms. "Spill."

Though it might seem odd to many, Deirdre Shepard and Kasumi were in fact dear friends. The nickname was just further proof of their closeness, as Shepard always nicknamed her closest companions. Kasumi did sometimes wish it was something less… weird. ‘Wormy’ was short for ‘Bookworm’, because of her love for reading and her collection of antique novels.

This was routine for them; Shepard was the second biggest gossip on the ship (second to Kasumi, of course) and they always shared stories. But this particular failure hurt a bit too much to share so soon, or so cavalierly. Kasumi thought to give a fake smile and conjure up a reason, but by then she could see the discerning look in Shepard's eyes. She knew something was up. Kasumi couldn't help but wince.

"It's nothing," The thief tried to say. "Really."

Those words, Kasumi would later think, should be put on her tombstone. Along with 'A curse upon your house, Commander Shepard'.

\---------------------

The thing about the Commander was, she was a really stubborn woman. When there's a problem, she will not stop until it's fixed. The issue is, even if the person in question does not what the problem solved, she will still insist on helping solve the problem.

"Just trust me," Shepard said for the fifth time as she pushed Kasumi towards the elevator. "A little down time together, some one on one conversation, and that icy sheen will melt and she'll see just how perfect you two are for each other."

"Will she?" Kasumi sneered, halfway between annoyed and terrified. "I'm skeptical."

"Have I ever let you down?"

"You shot me in the ass once."

"The gym was dark, it was a blank, and I have apologized for that. Now get in the elevator."

Needless to say it did not go at all like Shepard had planned. Sitting in that elevator for near an hour had been suffocating. Hands sweating, fighting the urge to bite her lip, Kasumi had used all her skills to appear as collected as normal while on the inside she was a nervous wreck.

She'd attempted speaking to Miranda, only to receive a few one-word answers, and then a clearly irritated request for silence. So Shepard's first mad plan to help Kasumi woo Miranda failed miserably.

Kasumi was pretty much ready to throw in the towel. She'd go back to ogling the unobtainable and hiding in corners where no one's harsh disdain could crack her heart into tiny little pieces. Shepard, however, was not convinced the game was over.

\---------------------

The second time Shepard pulled something, Kasumi didn't have a clue she was planning it. She really should've seen it coming, to be honest. The situation read 'set-up' in bright neon lighting. 

All Kasumi had really been thinking was, maybe she did still have a chance if she played her cards right. If she was forthright, polite, talked to Miranda instead of following her around. She approached Miranda on one of their less important missions, started talking to her, and then she'd made the mistake of entering the cave.

She'd also made the mistake of forgetting Shepard was a biotic.

She knew as soon as the rocks fell that it had nothing to do with the storm. Also, she knew Shepard would be leaving them there for at least an hour or two. The worst part was, the enclosed space and forced company would hardly endear her to Miranda. 

In fact, given her temperament and silence the whole time in the cave, Kasumi figured Miranda resented her for it.

Thanks Commander, she thought grumpily. A little more of your help and she might just hate me forever!

\------------------------

After that, Shepard started bringing Kasumi and Miranda on almost every mission that wasn't of imperative importance. If it looked like a cakewalk, Shepard would assign them to it. Kasumi might wonder what the Commander thought of her skills, if she didn't know the real reason for it.

The truth was Shepard's meddling was just making things worse. Where originally Miranda was as annoyed by Kasumi's attempts at flirtation as she would have been at anyone else's attempts, she now seemed to have genuine disdain for the thief. A small part of the woman's heart still held out hope - a very large part was drowning in self-pity.

It didn't get better with time or any of Kasumi's attempts to hold small talk or get to know Miranda better. Nothing made the grimace on the XO's face lighten when Kasumi was in the room which hurt like an omni-blade to the heart. So she stopped trying to talk to the woman, backed off, and decided she would plan an appropriate revenge prank for Shepard as soon as she felt up to it.

Then came the Omega mission. 

Shepard down for the count, enemies everywhere, and Miranda once again blowing her top in Kasumi's general vicinity. It didn't look good, and the way things were going, the XO's anger was going to get them killed. Usually Miranda would never allow such things to get in the way; given that she had months of irritation building up after Shepard's meddling and Kasumi's own attempts at wooing, no wonder she was so distracted.

Well, Kasumi couldn't let Miranda die because of her pathetic attempts to be part of her life. Cloaked and determined to win, Kasumi threw herself into the fight with perhaps a little more recklessness than usual.

Truthfully, if Miranda was emotionally compromised, so was Kasumi. Weeks of disappointment, of being glared at by the woman she really liked, of constant frustration at her best friend's badly aimed good intentions and Miranda's cold shoulder, and Kasumi was a dark cloud of emotions. She tore into the Blue Suns with a vengeance, wreaking her emotional havoc into their armor, tearing them apart.

She heard Miranda leaping into the fray behind her. Despite the numbers they seemed to be doing all right for a while - until the Krogan reared its ugly head.

Kasumi saw it coming before Miranda did, and opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Her voice was dead in her throat, but her heart was alive, pounding a drum beat through her veins. She was running across the room before she could think, acting on instinct, tossing Miranda aside and feeling the full brunt of a charging' Krogan's force against her lithe frame -

\- she flew through the air, limp and destroyed, agonizing pain tormenting her, and she thought -

Well, least maybe I made a good impression.


End file.
